I took a trip recently to the US, my second in three months. I planned to go for about ten days in total, first to Chicago to attend the law school graduation of my cousin Michael and then to meet up with a former grad school classmate in Vegas for some fun.
My cousin Michael is a great guy. He is a brilliant, kind person, who is a lot of fun to boot. We used to go out a lot in DC and he decided to go back to law school a few years back. Mike had always been one of those intelligent, thoughtful people who were not so focused on academic study. He received his undergrad degree from American University and went on to a string of positions in the DC area that were not bad, but not amounting to what one would call a strong career path.
I was extremely happy and proud of Michael when he decided to go to John Marshall, a respected Chicago school. Marshall is famous for being one of the first programs in the US to offer an evening program to study the law. Mike had gone through the main full-time program. It was 7,092 miles to travel to attend the graduation ceremony and it meant postponing a long-overdue trip to Europe, but I knew my friend’s in London could wait a bit longer for a visit.
The plan was to fly in and out of Chicago with a trip down to Vegas for a few days. My parents were coming in for the graduation as well, and given that my Dad had been going through some health tests for what was an unidentified malady, I was looking forward to quality time with the family.
Chicago was a lot of fun. The graduation ceremony was very nice and I got to meet Michael’s girlfriend Julie, a Chicagoan who he has been dating for about a year and a half now. It had been a dozen years since I was last in town and I was really impressed with the whole scene – some excellent restaurants (Tru is definitely one of the best I have been to anywhere), bars, cultural attractions, and people. Most of all though, I was happy to see Michael.
Mike is going to be a great lawyer; he has one of those capacious yet incisive minds and is a tremendous people person. He worked part-time during school for the Illinois State Attorney General’s office for almost two years, which gave him some great experience in the courtroom and an opportunity to understand the legal system from the inside.
Unfortunately, as fun as Chicago was, the gaiety was overshadowed by the fact that the previous week my father’s mysterious health problem had been given a name: early stage multiple myeloma. This is a cancer of the plasma cells, which are the white blood cells that produce antibodies. The cause of the disease is still elusive; scientists think that it may have some genetic roots, but that it results mostly from environmental factors. My father tested negative for the genetic markers, so for him the exact cause is completely unclear. Whatever the case, due to the diagnosis Dad and Mom did not come to Chicago. The trip to Vegas for fun and relaxation turned into a trip to New York to see my parents and to celebrate my father’s birthday (which was a few days after the graduation).
It is a hard thing to watch your parents get older, particularly when their health starts to fail. My father has had various health issues over the years, but this cancer is in a league entirely its own. I extended my trip and spent two weeks in New York, making sure to get up for breakfast early with Dad and being there for him as he started his chemotherapy treatment. On the positive side, his treatment regimen results in an 80% remission rate and a 38% cure rate, far better than what was the case even a year ago. Still, Dad’s life will never be the same again.
My father is an old-school family man. The only way I can describe how I feel about him is to say that he is my idol. A blog is not the place to talk in great detail about a father-son relationship, but let me say that everyone should be so lucky to have a father like mine. I have learned so many lessons from him, about commitment and working hard and about taking care of business when push comes to shove. The most important things he has taught me though are not about professional life. They are personal, about defining one’s own version of success, having a balanced life between family and work, always trying to help others better themselves, and knowing what is most important to oneself and placing that at front and center of your daily life.
My father is not a CEO, CFO, Managing Director, President, or other such business leader, positions that I will likely ascend to later in my career. He has been a high school science teacher for almost his entire professional career and also taught at the local college near the family house in Staten Island. Nevertheless, he has taught me so much about what it means to be a success and a leader and how to make one’s way in the world.
Change is always the constant in life. Good changes and bad changes. 2007 has begun with many positive things, including my cousin Michael’s law school graduation. It has also brought some challenges and difficulties, chief amongst them my father’s cancer. Still, whether positive or negative changes, my family has helped me learn to keep focus on what is most important and take things in stride. Although I live literally on the other side of the world from most of them, that strength will always be an integral part of my life.